Words you cant unsay

H. R. NIGHTMARE

Advise from HRs memory

 
 
 
 
Alright, so I have had some time to think back and reflect on my younger years, now that my oldest has graduated high school and looking to make HIS mark on the world.
And I have come up with a few words of advise to pass along to the next generation…
 
#1. When the officer says “get down on the ground now !” and adds “OR ELSE!” Just get down, the or else part friggin hurts A LOT.
 
#2. While skateboarding, water ski style behind your best buddy’s pick up truck driving down the road at 60 mph, make sure there is enough rope that if he slams on the brakes and skids to a stop, you have time to go around the truck instead of through the back window. AND wear a helmet.
 
#3. If at all possible in your growing years try your best to NOT sleep with your best friends sister OR his mother. that really puts a strain on a friendship.
 
#4. While out for a fun filled evening with your buddy, do not get the bright idea to drive 2 states away in a 2 seat er car with 2 husky guys, 1 beanpole skinny mother-fucker and a miniature claustrophobic hulk boy with a bad temper and a short fuse. (the blood stains never come out of the upholstery)
 
and
 
#5. When shit doesn’t seem to go quite right and you think there is no one in the world who would understand, remember there is always some one who will just listen and not try to fix you.
 
and last but not least there is one more small tidbit of advise i shall pass on before saying byby
 
*
Good luck everyone.
Advertisements

June 28, 2012 Posted by | real world, Uncategorized | , , , , , | 29 Comments

Welcome back H.E. :)

Ok, so there has ben a presence missing out here in Blog-land.

That would be the notorious

H. E. Ellis

(hellis for short) or (pain in the ass)

I would like to be the first to welcome her back on this “top secret” road trip of hers to visit the home land of your first book entitled

Gods of Asphalt

As to inspire her second book she has entitled

(Title not yet completed) but we all just call it

Book II (2) that was for the non romans out there.

Her trip, from what I hear, was wonderful. She was able to stick to the outlined road map pretty well.

Here was the trip out to

Valentine Nebraska

*

Now I know it seems a little askew from What one might do, But you have to realise a trip like this takes a lot of planning and time to visit the important things like.

*

********Pictures to be inserted at a later time*********

*

Now on the return trip the route that was taken was a little different from that of going out. See all the trips all over the east coast that she has takin, she never ended up see in the Great Lakes of these fine United States. there for she was able to catch a glimpse of not only Motor city, by the fine Great lakes as well. her return trip looked something like this.

*

So again I would like to welcome H.E. back and I hope you will too.

Seeing as the pictures from the trip still need to be downloaded from the camera, and some slight editing to be done. Those will have to be a post for another day. ( She really is not a good picture taker)

Untill next time, Watch where you go (or dont) cause you might just find your there already.

June 26, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Listen up kids, It’s funny time with HR

Each and every one of us need to laugh just to release the tension we accumulate each and every day.

This is why I bring these little moments of joy to the world,

some I find on the net in picture from (ok most) and some are the ongoing jokes I play or have played on co-workers and friends.

If just one person out there is able to chuckle at just one little, insignificant thing I post here then my day is almost fulfilled (there is still the food and napping thing to consider) so with out further a due I give you todays little burst of HAHA

First up would be a very telling insight to the MALE MIND……..(don’t worry, it’s a short story)

So there you have it folks, better than a decoder ring right…

next there is a small piece that was left out of this……(Probably the most important to a NEW relationship)

 

 

this one is for the “Players out there” who really don’t have a clue…

And now for the most blatant of all the questions to be released from the MALE MIND, through his mouth and streight to the ER room I bring you the #1 most though about question we could and would ask (mainly when drunk)

there you have it a glimpse into the MALE MIND as seen by HR Nightmare….

see ya

June 26, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Just the Stat’s man, Just the Stats.

I have had a opertunity to take a lot of information as of late from all of the people i get to talk to all the time.

I have begone to take that info and turn it into stats.

These are the new and improved states I have put together, please feel free to argue any or all of these views.

*

*

 *
*
And Finlay this was a tough one to figure out..

*

*

*

At this point I would normally leave you shaking your head and asking why? Why do I even bother opening that email alert from this guy, I really gotta restrain from doing that. But you opened it and here you are, Learning a little and laughing a lot.

As some of you know recently I requested outsider info for my buddy Looch.

definitions of three words used often to describe types of attraction. Well to be streight forward with y’all I received a overwellning amount of responses, few on comments, a majority in private.

The answer is clear.

Each and every person has a different description for the word love.

Love ranges from thinking of a cake, to can not live without a special person by their side. There is no clear answer, having said that it is what you precise as love that counts in the matter of the heart.

Like is pretty much the little brother/or sister of love. Like comes in all forms from I like a #2 pencil instead of a ball point pen, all the way up to (and including from an email I received) Licking the inside of my thigh while I ej……  you get the point.

So in conclusion of these 2 points thus far is they are related on a cosmic level and a personal interpretation.

So what does that mean you might ask, nothing you gotta figure those 2 things out for yourself.

Sorry Looch your screwed on those 2.

But wait, HR wasnt there 1 more word that required a definition?

Yes there was            LUST           Would you belive that the word lust is in the same categories as like and love?    yeah me either.  lust is a word that people so far have said the least and commented the most. It is a word seen as dirty, naughty, and sexy all wrapped up in a cute little package and tided up tight to the bed post.  Most people wont speak on this word, but come to find out it is thought about more and fantasized about more than the other 2 combined.

So even if there is not a clear opinion on the word LUST the fact remains it is the least used word, but the most powerful.

That’s it.     Yeah I got nothing else to share today kids.

see ya

May 12, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

30 SEC HAHA #1

* We are all screwed*

*Get it?*

I would like to take a second and remind people we still have brave solders over there.

It is up to us to thank them and remind them to not lose their sence of humor.

On a side note I would like to say

THANK YOU ALL WHO HAVE,  ARE,  OR WILL SERVE IN THE ARMED FORCES.

Now this is why I can’t be there.

see ya’ll soon

May 2, 2012 Posted by | practical jokes, Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Not much time Quick read this.,

Look closely here at this thing you’re looking at.

See it?

Good now really fast try to figure it all out.

Done yet?

Good.

Heres your pretty picture for the day to try to remove the thought of me in your head.

There see I try to do something nice and you twist it all around to make me look like the perv.

Just kidding. I am, so any who, Whats going on out there in the real world? Since I’m not getting out of here any time soon I would really like to know.  OOp to late the nice men with the really warm jackets that make me give myself a hug are here, They bring me to listen to music through these little tiny metal stickers they put on the side of my head. I hope they got a new record thou, the same buzzing band has been playing for my last 4 visits, although the music HAS gotten louder the last 2 times. Anyway… Gotta go. see you in your mind.

April 24, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Welcome back or Pleased to meet you.

Welcome to, well here. As many of you know I enjoy having fun and tell stories about little things that happen

you know what, im a little cramped for time today so just run the pic sequence.

*

One persons dumb move..

*

*

Can impact everyone.

*

and now I leave you with this.

*

 *

LEARN TO LAUGH. SCREW WITH SOMEONE TODAY.

Because

(thats me in the red shirt)

If some one think’s you joke aint funny,

take the advise of a wise turtle friend of mine. *

Just remember that the really funny jokes in life need time to set up.

as for the rest of this post

*

keep the laugh track going.

(even if your the only one who can hear it)

April 22, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Just one of those days

Ever wake up in the mornin and think

 ‘ It’s just going to be on of those days’

You begin by looking in the mirror and saying

‘ You should have just stayed in bed’

You go to your favored coffee shop and order you usual  and receive some type of off base concoction of crap

when you ask what this crap is that you just got you get

“This is better just give it a chance.”

You get stuck in traffic after leaving the house 15 minuets late to start off with.

You walk into work and realize that there was a conference call you were set to be on 40 minuets ago so your late.

You look at your desk and figure out that there seems to be a weeks worth of work on it and you where only gone for 2 days, and none of it has any us full information pertaining to the documents you’re looking at.

Come lunchtime your break is a welcomed distraction to all the things that have been turned upside down in your day, only to receive a call from a coworker in regards to the conference call beginning that you missed so the 2 of you spend your entire break trying to find the info required for the close of the day.

After your break you return to what appears to be 15 messages from clients asking the status of their ordered parts to which you have no answers and then need to play catchup to find out and returned all the calls with the info, you muddle through the rest of your day and finally at the end of it all its time to go home. Your almost skipping all the way to your car with the biggest smile ever chanting tomorrow will be better, only to hop in your car and find out that you left the headlights on all day and now your battery is dead, you turn around just in time to see the last person your work with leaving the parking lot so you can’t even get a jump-start. When you try to call and see if they can swing by and give you a jump-start your phone is dead because the battery doesn’t hold a charge anymore and you have no way to charge it up.

A glimmer of hope a co-worker returns to pick up some papers he forgot, good fortune, all the way untill you figure out neither one of you have jumper cable because you loaned them to a buddy last week.

finally your buddy was able to call another friend and get a jump.

You race home looking forward to sitting in your favorite chair and crack open a beer, put your feet up and count the hours untill your day is finally done. When you get home your last beer is gone, your cat got sick in your chair and threw up and there seems to be no food remaining in the house, and the satellite is out because the wind took out your dish.

You say screw it and walk into the bedroom just to plop down in bed and finish out the day a little early. and try again tomorrow.

well that wasnt my day, my day was pretty good.

till next time..

keep smiling ( it makes people think your up to something, even if you’re not )

Oh crap this whole post and no pics??

WTF

here you go my friends.

HAHAHA you thought I wasnt going to find a way to sneak this in here didnt you.

SURPRISE GOT YA..

Keep the laugh track running..

April 17, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Today Here and Now

Remember the days when fundraising was supposed to be fun.

Remember the days when you would go to the store and see the girl scouts outside asking for you to buy their cookies?

In this economy even the scouts have fallen on hard times and needed to step it up a bit.

There is a brand new sales tactic that they have implemented, the test market is in the mid-west somewhere.

So be aware when this poster begins to circulate in your area..

*

*

Maybe next time you’ll buy 2 boxes.

( this has been a public service announcement for your safety)

April 15, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Today on this blog

*

Welcome, today I feeling like passing on some small pieces of fun-loving laughter.

But In the great words of the Honey Badger

*

So on with it. In a typical day walking around an oversized mall

I recommend printing off this pic, in standard index card size.

Gluing it to an index card and attaching it to a popsicle stick and carrying it around.

That way you will always be prepared.

*

*

If for some reason that doesn’t show the appropriate amount of polite rejection and the people or person continues to speak in your direction. Maybe the flip side should read like this..

*

*

Or not. you decide.

So on with it then, I have not mentioned it but im gonna now.

There is a second page to this blog up there that is kinda blending in the background so its hard to tell its there.

Its called the SCREAM ROOM. bet you see it now don’t ya.

Anyway seeing as there is a shit ton of things people want to say but are worried how they will be taken. This is your chance to

YELL AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS AND GET ON WITH YOUR DAY

Also check out the blog roll thingy over there ——>>>>>

see it, yeah its set up as a game. Go check these people out. I have yet to figure out how they got here but if they stopped by

they gotta be …

*

at least 3 popped collar cool, cause 4 is urbercool. (d-bag basted needs a smack down)

So go there, broaden your horizons, open your minds what im trying to say is,

GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE NOTHING LEFT TO SEE

except, I’m sorry for yelling..

*

No really get out go home.

till next time

April 12, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments