Almost worked.

Here we go again, 12/27 the returns

!!

So yeah, as some of you know I have a job working in retail.

let as recap the past week and a half,

Step 1, figure out what that special person wants. Category of the item desired

Step 2, Find out the gift for said person , What is it exactly they would love to have.

Step 3, Locate that perfect gift for that special person. Where can it be bought and is there enough

Step 4, Go to purchase the greatest gift ever. After fighting your way to the table and suffering a couple of bruises.

Step 5, Wrap that gift perfectly with a bow. Said persons favorite color paper and Santa splattered on it

Step 5, Tease them that they will never guess what it is. Don’t let them know that they picked it out.

Step 6, They open it a day after Christmas ( because you where with family ON Christmas)

That’s when the pain starts.

That special someone forces a smile and a over exaggerated

“It’s exactly what I wanted. “

Step 7, Find the receipt because her sister got her the same god dam present you did, and gave it to her the day BEFORE Christmas

Step 8, Hunt down the sist..  scratch that. Step 8a,Ttell her that’s fine and drive her to the store to return said gift and pick out something else.

Strep 9, Wait in line for over an hour with every other Man who thought of the same god dam thing you did,

” I give her this gift she will be so grateful I might just get lucky”.

Step 10, She gets what she wants, you get I’m sorry Hun but I promised my parents we would drive up and see them tonight

( which by the way is an hour drive one way )

Step 11, get home, have a shot, go to bed and hope for a better tomorrow.

Good night and good luck people.

By the way, This happend to Looch NOT HR.

12/26 the day after

Ok, so way to go day after Christmas; the cleaning, the picking up, the hangover.

Way to go 12/26. Back to work I go, listening to all the drama, the “I didn’t get what I wanted!” sniffles and bitching. “My mom and dad didn’t get the right color I-pad.” This coming from a 27 year-old man. Suck it up you little bitch before I slap you into puberty. Oh my god you’re frigging 27 years old, you can only work part-time because you’re too wrapped up in your own little world to realize that your little sports car import tuner isn’t as bad ass as you think. Just because your exhaust sounds like a pissed off swarm of bees and your “system” can blast you out of your seat. I don’t fucking care that your mommy got you the wrong fucking color ipad God damit. And if I yell at you because you’re complaining that you have to work for 15 fucking hours a week I WLL HAVE TO HIT YOU! Your parents should have tossed you out on your ass long ago, so do not get testy with me you little shit. I will not be picking up after you, I will not be wiping your ass, and I will not be giving a shit about you in the up-coming…well, forever. So please, for the love of God, if you’re over the age of 23 and complaining that the gift you got from your parents was the wrong color or anything trivial like that, remember you’re fucking lucky you have parents that get you anything at all SO BE GRATEFUL and say thank you and for Gods sake SHUT THE FUCK UP!