Words you cant unsay

H. R. NIGHTMARE

4 leaf clover, where are you?

Ok first of all,
HAPPY ST. PADDY’S DAY TO ALL OF YOU.
Moving on. As most of you are aware, H.E. Ellis and I are family. We have 3 not too bad kids together and seeing as her and I see them as the most important people we know, we use ALL the holidays to get together. Call it required family time. So anyway, HE follows her Italian roots as most of you know. What you may not know is that she is also a bad Irish cook. Welcome to hell, pull up a seat and get comfortable. St Pat’s day is…well, an Irish holiday, in which there is drinking, games, fighting and cooking. HE is good at 2 of these; games and fighting. Drinking however is a passed out time for her.
People say that if a butterfly flaps its wing in Asia there is a wind that blows in NH (or something like that). Well the other way to look at HE’s drinking is, if a bottle is opened all the way out on Mars, she is drunk as fuck! Now on to the cooking.
I would have sworn that there was no way that a glass cooking dish would ever break under regular use, but her Irish themed dinner caused a 11″ x 9″ glass casserole dish to take its own life. I shit you not!
Now understand this is the same dish I have used thousands of times with no issue. I have dropped it from the sink on its side after washing it. NOT A CHIP. She, on the other hand was making potatoes to go with dinner and prepped the taters ok. Put them in the dish, ok. Placed them in the oven, ok. Removed to stir, now wait…   removed them placed them on the stove, turned and picked up 2 plastic spoons, approached the 1/4″ tempered glass casserole dish, I swear it looked at her and the fucking thing EXPLODED. I shit you not, the fucking thing took its own life as if to say, “You do not follow your Irish traditions, I will have no part of this, Goodbye Grandma, I love you” and fucking exploded.  I wouldn’t have believed it if I weren’t there to see it for myself.
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As far as dinner is concerned,
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 Just like Christmas.
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March 17, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , | 47 Comments

1-1-12 news.

*******************Breaking News*********************

3 GREEK GODDESSES FOUND DEAD TODAY IN WHAT SEEMS TO BE A MASS SUICIDE.

Reports coming from an inside source at the FBI indicate that three bodies were found today in the penthouse at Trump Towers

They have been identified as the Greek Goddesses:

Aphrodite, Hestia, and Athena

Aphrodite was best known as the Goddess of love, beauty and desire.

Hestia was best known as the Goddess of  the hearth, home and cooking.

Athena, The goddess of wisdom, warfare, battle strategy, heroic endeavour, handicrafts and reason.

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There were approximately 6 different prescriptions, empty booze bottles and a note on the table in the main room.

We have received a copy.

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We now release these mortal bodies to the pages of history and make way for the new Goddesses to take our place.

Ms. Megan can now take her spot as  HESTIA the goddess of hearth, home and cooking.

Ms. SparkleBumps, is now open to receive the name APHRODITE, and become the goddess of love, beauty and desire

and

Ms. Ellis, is free to receive the gift of becoming ATHENA, goddess of wisdom heroic endeavors and reason.

So raise a glass and drink of the wine.

blessed be to the new.

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There shall be a press release later in the day as to the relationship between these decided and the names mentioned.

Police are now searching for Ms. SparkleBumps, Ellis and Megan.

Reports state that Ms. Bumps was last seen being lowered from a large tower,

Ms. Ellis is believed to be tormenting the internet and blog world from an undisclosed bunker somewhere in North America.

And according to her family, Ms. Megan was seen blending in with a pack of tigers completing research for an upcoming book.

If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of these ladies please inform your local police department.

January 1, 2012 Posted by | practical jokes, real world | , , , , , , | 43 Comments

NEXT!!

Welcome my new year, Kiss my ass 2011.

The future is a opertunity, the past is an education.

I plan to take the new year with a smile, I will not cry about the past.

I will have a new view on the 2012

I will drink for fun not to forget the past.

I will LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE.

I will LIVE through-out the year.

I will LAUGH at whats funny.

I will LOVE as much as I can.

and

I will talk to you later.

January 1, 2012 Posted by | real world, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

SIGHT BEYOND SIGHT

PEOPLE DO NOT ALWAYS SEE WHAT’S RIGHT THERE.
PEOPLE CAN’T SEE WHAT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM
PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO SEE IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT.
PEOPLE CLOSE THEIR EYES TO CHANGE.
PEOPLE IGNORE THE NEW THAT’S OUTSIDE.
AFTER WAKING FROM A DRONE STYLE SLEEP
THEN THEY SEE WHAT’S RIGHT THERE, AND ACCEPT IT
THEN THEY SEE WHAT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM, AND ACCEPT IT
THEN THEY SEE IN A NEW LIGHT, AND ACCEPT IT
THEN THEY OPEN THEIR EYES TO CHANGE, AND ACCEPT IT
THEN THEY TAKE A WALK OUTSIDE AND REALIZE IT’S A BEAUTIFUL NEW DAY.
THANK YOU ALL

December 9, 2011 Posted by | real world | , , , , | 2 Comments