Words you cant unsay

H. R. NIGHTMARE

4 leaf clover, where are you?

Ok first of all,
HAPPY ST. PADDY’S DAY TO ALL OF YOU.
Moving on. As most of you are aware, H.E. Ellis and I are family. We have 3 not too bad kids together and seeing as her and I see them as the most important people we know, we use ALL the holidays to get together. Call it required family time. So anyway, HE follows her Italian roots as most of you know. What you may not know is that she is also a bad Irish cook. Welcome to hell, pull up a seat and get comfortable. St Pat’s day is…well, an Irish holiday, in which there is drinking, games, fighting and cooking. HE is good at 2 of these; games and fighting. Drinking however is a passed out time for her.
People say that if a butterfly flaps its wing in Asia there is a wind that blows in NH (or something like that). Well the other way to look at HE’s drinking is, if a bottle is opened all the way out on Mars, she is drunk as fuck! Now on to the cooking.
I would have sworn that there was no way that a glass cooking dish would ever break under regular use, but her Irish themed dinner caused a 11″ x 9″ glass casserole dish to take its own life. I shit you not!
Now understand this is the same dish I have used thousands of times with no issue. I have dropped it from the sink on its side after washing it. NOT A CHIP. She, on the other hand was making potatoes to go with dinner and prepped the taters ok. Put them in the dish, ok. Placed them in the oven, ok. Removed to stir, now wait…   removed them placed them on the stove, turned and picked up 2 plastic spoons, approached the 1/4″ tempered glass casserole dish, I swear it looked at her and the fucking thing EXPLODED. I shit you not, the fucking thing took its own life as if to say, “You do not follow your Irish traditions, I will have no part of this, Goodbye Grandma, I love you” and fucking exploded.  I wouldn’t have believed it if I weren’t there to see it for myself.
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As far as dinner is concerned,
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 Just like Christmas.
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March 17, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , | 47 Comments