Words you cant unsay

H. R. NIGHTMARE

Ok so as they say better late then never.

Seeing as I do not have 11 friends to forward this to, and the friends in the blog-o-spear have all ready completed this tag game question and answer section. I am to answer the questions I was asked by both Mr. Edward HotSpur and the lovely Ms. Megan.

First to be completed is Mr. HotSpur because it makes him feel awkward and I think that’s funny.

1) Explain what constitutes the universe, and give two examples.
Matter and I’m going with time and space.
2) What comes first, night or day?
Depends on where you start.
3) How many licks does it take?
1…2…3…Crunch. It takes 3 licks.
4) What’s your deepest darkest secret?
Not sure cant see it. Its to dark down here.
5) Have you ever done something that you regretted, or that was humiliating, and if so, what is it?
Yep, I prepaid that S+M dominatrix.
6) Do you consider yourself attractive?
Not really but the mirror disagrees with that answer.
7) How many partners have you had?
That I can remember. Only 1.
8) Where are you going with this?
All the way to the end.
9) Is there really any better flavor or smell than bacon?
Vanilla body spray from VS smells great and makes me hungry.
10) If you could have any superpower, but only one, what would it be?
Invisibility.
11) What is something that you think you should like, but you really hate?
Crapes.
Next up with 11 more great questions is a lovely young lady
from across the pond
Ms. Megan
*

1.The best moment of your life?

I would have to say that the best moment was learing how to drive a front wheel drive manual transmission Geo             backwards doing donuts in the snow with a couple of friends.

2.The worst moment of your life?

When H.E.Ellis found out I was driving her Geo backwards doing donuts in the snow with a couple of friends.

3.If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?

I would have paid more attention in school so I could appreciate blogging more.

4.If you could go back and tell someone how you really felt when you didn’t, who would it be?

My father. There is a past there that well, kinda sucked.

5.If there was someone who you could tell how you really felt now who would it be?

I’m not sure. Probably Vincent Price, but H.E. ruined that one for me.

6.Your greatest achievement?

My 3 kids and the one on a rent-to-own plan.

7.Someone you wanted to be proud of you who weren’t?

One of my uncles. The nice one.

8.List the best people in your life right now.

That guy, him, her, that person and the one next to him. Oh, and my cat.

9.Your joy in life is…

Living, since I really didn’t think I would make it this far.

10.What you wish you could do but cannot?

Punch dance down the car pool lane wearing nothing but a speedo and smoking a cigar.

11.If I gave you an airline ticket for anywhere in the world were would you go?

Where you at again? And do you have a car pool lane?

*

I hope this helps understand me a little more.

till next time

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February 29, 2012 Posted by | Mouth moves faster then Brain, practical jokes, real world | , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Thanks Lady across the pond.

There I was at work today in a rather intense meeting when my phone begins to go off. Well I was just expecting some crappy question from another manager. Well I was being spoken to about being sarcastic at work especially to the workers under my supervision.  This is what I revived.

To complete the story, I laughed so hard then showed my supervisor the picture.

it was the first time I actually made him look down, shake his head and walk away saying,

” Why do I bother, just get back to work.”

Thank you Ms. Megan you will make a terrific Pissa.

January 17, 2012 Posted by | Mouth moves faster then Brain, practical jokes, real world | 13 Comments

Don’t pout you’re 22

I never yell at work.
It’s not how I lead my crew. I prefer to lead by teaching, guiding and positive reinforcement, not by intimidation. Well, ever work with that one person you just can’t teach?
Yep I got one. This guy transferred into my store from another store. No big deal, right? Well here’s the issue: His old store had about 350 customers a week; my store has about 350 customers a day. When he wanted to transfer we all informed him that this was a much faster paced store then he might be used to. We gave him 1 full week of shadow training and advised him on the way stuff worked in our store. He has been here 5 weeks now, getting overwhelmed, frustrated and taking it out on others in the store.
OK, roll with it, let him know we all have to work together to get the job done. Well, when you are in my office, the front sales floor can hear you. I do not want the know about the rash you have developed on your ass because you walked home in the rain 2 days ago. I shushed him, then I shushed him again, then he went to lunch. He came back after a half hour and hung around my office. When one of the other workers came in this ” the rash ” story started all over again. A little frustrated at this time. Asked if e was clocked in; he said no. I looked out in the store and when I saw there where no customers, I proceeded to yell at him “SHUT UP, NOBODY GIVES A FLYIN’ FUCK ABOUT SOME KIND OF RASH YOU GOT BECAUSE YOU LOST YOUR GOD DAM LICENSE DRIVING LIKE A MORON AND HAD TO FUCKING WALK HOME THE OTHER DAY. IF YOU’RE NOT ON THE CLOCK GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE OFFICE. NOW!”
Come to find out he spent the remainder of his break time at the farthest corner of the building away from where I was. From what I was told he was just standing there pouting that I got upset and yelled at him. When he came back on, he was amazing, fast working, polite to customers willing to do anything. Afterword I did say sorry and that I was proud of the way he turned the day around. Good job.
Apparently, he was informed that no one there had ever heard me yell at someone before so I must have been really pissed and he was advised to not do that again.

January 10, 2012 Posted by | Mouth moves faster then Brain, real world | , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Faster then the speed of though

This is post asking, “Are you sure?” to everyone that has anything to say to you.

This is how it should work: ( Boss ) “Did you get those reports done yet?”

REPLY: “Are you sure you want THOSE reports?”

“Yes I want them and I want them now.”

“Are you sure you want them now?”

You get the point. This sounds all well and good. However, be aware of who you ask and when you ask. That is how it should have gone in my mind. This is the actual conversation that occurred.

BRUCE: “Did you get those reports done yet?”

ME: “Are you sure you want THOSE reports?”

BRUCE: “Yes I want the friggin reports! Why the hell would I have asked for them if I didn’t want them? What are you? A friggin’ idiot? What the hell is wrong with you? When I tell you I want something I want it done 10 minutes before I ask! Get over there, finish the prints and bring them to me NOW! I do not ever want to have this conversation again! Understood!?!”

OK I couldn’t resist at this point.

ME: “Are you sure you don’t want to have this conversation again?”

Que slamming door and BOOM.

And so yet again there is another installment of MOUTH MOVES FASTER THAN BRAIN. There will probably be a follow up to this called “I’m writing you from the line at the unemployment office.” Stay tuned.

see ya’ll,

HR.

December 18, 2011 Posted by | Mouth moves faster then Brain, practical jokes, real world | , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments