Words you cant unsay

H. R. NIGHTMARE

Haha moment or oops wrong story

As I sit here in my rustic log cabin in the woods listening to the sound of only snaps and crackles being omitted from my fire place, and the sound of the clicking of my keyboard wondering what to put on the blank screen of mine.
I allow my mind to be released and wonder with the flickering fire light of the room. Amazed that it seemed to find a place long lost of my childhood and the things I wished to be when I reached adulthood.
Needless to say a smile came across my face as I indulged in the kid dreams of my little world and then it dawned on me…
If I don’t wake up and get my ass out of bed ill be late for work… Again.

Yea I don’t have a log cabin in the woods, the only fire I play with I must make fly and create art and unfortunately my childhood dreams have not really come to pass.

Yep this is my life but it’s nice to remember the good things from time to time…Like my kids..

My kids are kind, loving and proud.

Kind… Willing to do whatever needs to be done to help others that may not be ready to help themselves.

Loving… Able to see past flaws and enjoy a person regardless of where they come from or where they are.

Proud… Proud to be called a friend, proud of the things the have accomplished and will accomplish. Proud to be a leader rather then a follower. Proud to be themselves regardless of what the current “fad” is.

So in looking at these terrific people that call me dad maybe, just maybe I have completed my childhood dream after all.

I wanted to raise kids that where better people then I was.

Mission accomplished.

Dreams for filled.

Now I need new dreams.

New dreams filled with heart, compaction, faith and caring.

And maybe with a little luck…A cape.

Because let’s face it, every dreamer dreams of having a cape.

But all my dreams are unknown.

now onto the funny…
A little while ago it was mentioned to me that “fast food” joints or ” flipin burgers” was the down fall of the current economy.. well I have news for you…

seeing as fast food has been around a long, long time as seen here..

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Now many will think that this is completely impossible but its true.
Even if today it seems to be a little more like the evil twin brother asking…

mac</a

I have to admit,
it is still way, way better then..

thCA15XWUC>

now seeing as the down fall was not created by joints like this..
We still need to have a little understanding.
See if your not carful you may run into this situation and not know what to do,
like..

funny-cats-why-dont-you-knock

and there is no unseeing that let me tell you..

Now still more to come.

Ever wonder what would happen if you crossed 2 time lines like…. THIS…

hey_beetlejuice_doris_joker_funny_demotivational_poster_1231432214_Motivational_Posters_s640x456_23742-s640x456-183671

yea that’s right I did that, and you looked..

ok so at this point I’m supposed to say something funny and cleaver and blah blah blah ..
I’m just going to throw some funny up here. laugh it up chuckles..

funny-demotivational-posters-bacon-wrapped-media-4

Hi Tom.. hahaha..

beetlebattle

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY !! WE BRING YOU BATTLE BUGS…. WE WILL SELL YOU THE WHOLE SEAT BUT YOULL ONLY NEED THE
EEEEDDDGGGEEEE !!!

OKAY one more and then get out you free loaders…

I bring to you the perfect chuckle moment..

ready?

set..

just kidding go away.

good night my ladies and gents of the world and don’t forget to tip your waitress..

funny_cat_pictures_165

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March 19, 2013 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

If your offended by what your about to see, please call 1-800- get your head out of your ass it’s meant to be funny dill-hole

As most know, and I have stated WAY more than once I do not write well so I hide behind pictures and poke fun at, well everybody.

So to bring a smile to a few faces out there I look around the internet quite often and most of the day from my phone, Every so often I take a break from the normal sites where they know me on a first name basis and look at things OTHER then porn. Because lets face it, I’m still a guy. So I find these little haha moments in hopes that some one, some where will get a chuckle from them. So here we go kiddies hold on to your hair piece, Its gonna be a bumpy ride…,

TONIGHT THEME IS

THE MILITARY

Thats right the armed forces from all over..

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AND LAST BUT BY NO MEANS LEAST…

A MOMENT OF

SERENITY

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If I have caused ant undue issues in this post, well I really don’t care cause

I AIN’T HERE TO HELP.

good night, god bless and all that.

no really get out, leave, vamoosed, remove yourself from my air space, WHY are you still here? Do you understand you being here now at this moment in time is causing a paradox that will never be corrected… move people, I can not stress enough that at this exact moment in time in a parallel universe you are standing to close to that annoying car alarm, which in there universe is considered rock-n-roll and they do it to dance, but that’s not the point. Look I have been pretty nice up to this point but am starting to get angered. FINE, FINE your still here reading this at least do me the favor of taking a look at this if you insist on staying..

DO NOT CLICK ON THIS

you just had to be that guy??

September 7, 2012 Posted by | practical jokes, Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Advise from HRs memory

 
 
 
 
Alright, so I have had some time to think back and reflect on my younger years, now that my oldest has graduated high school and looking to make HIS mark on the world.
And I have come up with a few words of advise to pass along to the next generation…
 
#1. When the officer says “get down on the ground now !” and adds “OR ELSE!” Just get down, the or else part friggin hurts A LOT.
 
#2. While skateboarding, water ski style behind your best buddy’s pick up truck driving down the road at 60 mph, make sure there is enough rope that if he slams on the brakes and skids to a stop, you have time to go around the truck instead of through the back window. AND wear a helmet.
 
#3. If at all possible in your growing years try your best to NOT sleep with your best friends sister OR his mother. that really puts a strain on a friendship.
 
#4. While out for a fun filled evening with your buddy, do not get the bright idea to drive 2 states away in a 2 seat er car with 2 husky guys, 1 beanpole skinny mother-fucker and a miniature claustrophobic hulk boy with a bad temper and a short fuse. (the blood stains never come out of the upholstery)
 
and
 
#5. When shit doesn’t seem to go quite right and you think there is no one in the world who would understand, remember there is always some one who will just listen and not try to fix you.
 
and last but not least there is one more small tidbit of advise i shall pass on before saying byby
 
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Good luck everyone.

June 28, 2012 Posted by | real world, Uncategorized | , , , , , | 29 Comments

Welcome back H.E. :)

Ok, so there has ben a presence missing out here in Blog-land.

That would be the notorious

H. E. Ellis

(hellis for short) or (pain in the ass)

I would like to be the first to welcome her back on this “top secret” road trip of hers to visit the home land of your first book entitled

Gods of Asphalt

As to inspire her second book she has entitled

(Title not yet completed) but we all just call it

Book II (2) that was for the non romans out there.

Her trip, from what I hear, was wonderful. She was able to stick to the outlined road map pretty well.

Here was the trip out to

Valentine Nebraska

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Now I know it seems a little askew from What one might do, But you have to realise a trip like this takes a lot of planning and time to visit the important things like.

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********Pictures to be inserted at a later time*********

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Now on the return trip the route that was taken was a little different from that of going out. See all the trips all over the east coast that she has takin, she never ended up see in the Great Lakes of these fine United States. there for she was able to catch a glimpse of not only Motor city, by the fine Great lakes as well. her return trip looked something like this.

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So again I would like to welcome H.E. back and I hope you will too.

Seeing as the pictures from the trip still need to be downloaded from the camera, and some slight editing to be done. Those will have to be a post for another day. ( She really is not a good picture taker)

Untill next time, Watch where you go (or dont) cause you might just find your there already.

June 26, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

HR conversation I have had.

Lets take a little trip down memory lane shall we..

This is a flash back to a conversation I have had with the director of Human resources at a former place of employment.

I’ll start it off..

Me: Good morning Mr. Howard how are you today?

I’m Fine HR, we need to talk. (Yeah even then they called me HR)

Ok, I’m freed up right now. What’s going on?

HR we here have come to appreciate the jokes and your schananagins and most are amazing, but…

Wait is this about the new signage I put in the lady’s room ?

No, I didnt even know there was a new sign in the lady’s room.

OK, Is this about having the floor guys put a couple extra coats of wax on the floor, cause I paid the difference out-of-pocket..

Nope, didnt really notice that either, It’s about…

Ok, wait let me guess..  it was the way I wrote on the tp in the stalls to remember to wash your hands before returning to work, because that one I have to say isnt bad just a friendly reminder.. however the one that said smile for the camera probably wasnt to smart I’ll admit.

It had nothing to do with any of that, But I do appreciate you bringing these things to my attention… now let me finish.

Ok I’m listening go ahead.

We where going to give you the JESTER award this weekend and let you give a small speech on the importance of a fun-loving and joyful working enviroment, BUT we wont be able to.

Why not that sounds great, I would love to why can’t we?

Because after this conversation and bringing these things to my attention, you might be looking for a new job.

Are you sure? because there is some thing you should know.

Whats that?

Yesterday the big bosses where here too, and well they thought is was brilliant and keeps people on their toes.

So what does that mean??

Hi how are you, I need to speak to you about your performance review coming up.  I’m YOUR new boss.

So there you have it, When you make someone of authority laugh, you just might stand a chance in the up tight world.

Good by, good luck, and goodnight.

June 11, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Just the Stat’s man, Just the Stats.

I have had a opertunity to take a lot of information as of late from all of the people i get to talk to all the time.

I have begone to take that info and turn it into stats.

These are the new and improved states I have put together, please feel free to argue any or all of these views.

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And Finlay this was a tough one to figure out..

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At this point I would normally leave you shaking your head and asking why? Why do I even bother opening that email alert from this guy, I really gotta restrain from doing that. But you opened it and here you are, Learning a little and laughing a lot.

As some of you know recently I requested outsider info for my buddy Looch.

definitions of three words used often to describe types of attraction. Well to be streight forward with y’all I received a overwellning amount of responses, few on comments, a majority in private.

The answer is clear.

Each and every person has a different description for the word love.

Love ranges from thinking of a cake, to can not live without a special person by their side. There is no clear answer, having said that it is what you precise as love that counts in the matter of the heart.

Like is pretty much the little brother/or sister of love. Like comes in all forms from I like a #2 pencil instead of a ball point pen, all the way up to (and including from an email I received) Licking the inside of my thigh while I ej……  you get the point.

So in conclusion of these 2 points thus far is they are related on a cosmic level and a personal interpretation.

So what does that mean you might ask, nothing you gotta figure those 2 things out for yourself.

Sorry Looch your screwed on those 2.

But wait, HR wasnt there 1 more word that required a definition?

Yes there was            LUST           Would you belive that the word lust is in the same categories as like and love?    yeah me either.  lust is a word that people so far have said the least and commented the most. It is a word seen as dirty, naughty, and sexy all wrapped up in a cute little package and tided up tight to the bed post.  Most people wont speak on this word, but come to find out it is thought about more and fantasized about more than the other 2 combined.

So even if there is not a clear opinion on the word LUST the fact remains it is the least used word, but the most powerful.

That’s it.     Yeah I got nothing else to share today kids.

see ya

May 12, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Welcome back or Pleased to meet you.

Welcome to, well here. As many of you know I enjoy having fun and tell stories about little things that happen

you know what, im a little cramped for time today so just run the pic sequence.

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One persons dumb move..

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Can impact everyone.

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and now I leave you with this.

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LEARN TO LAUGH. SCREW WITH SOMEONE TODAY.

Because

(thats me in the red shirt)

If some one think’s you joke aint funny,

take the advise of a wise turtle friend of mine. *

Just remember that the really funny jokes in life need time to set up.

as for the rest of this post

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keep the laugh track going.

(even if your the only one who can hear it)

April 22, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

clean intake the easy way

Ok, so as most of you know (or don’t) I’m a mechanic. This leads me to teaching my kids how to work on engines.

I decided to have them tear down and rebuild a Chevy 350.

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This is a great engine to learn on. One of the best parts to remove and clean is the upper intake.

Removal of the intake manifold has several steps. Once it’s off the cleaning can begin. Most people use sanding discs, bead blasters, scrapers or even chemicals. Some people send them out and have them done.

Up here in the great state of New Hampshire we have found a better way of dealing with that greasy, oily, gunk that gets built up and in the crevices.

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*********** DO NOT DO THIS IN THE VEHICLE ***********

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I give you…THE NIGHTMARE CLEANING SERVICE!!!

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April 2, 2012 Posted by | real world | , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Here’s a Question mark for ya.

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That’s a big question.

March 26, 2012 Posted by | Quicky | , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Why I visit and don’t live here

So as many of you know (or don’t) I don’t read all that much.

I really didn’t pay full attention in school.

And I’m a little slow when it comes to understanding most computer stuff.

I would like to take a second and help all the people out there in blog world with a little piece of info I realized just today.

When you look at your stats page, the number for visits to your blog under the heading yesterday will not increase.

thank you.

barsample

ps. it took me this long to figure that out.

March 18, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , | 8 Comments