Words you cant unsay

H. R. NIGHTMARE

HR conversation I have had.

Lets take a little trip down memory lane shall we..

This is a flash back to a conversation I have had with the director of Human resources at a former place of employment.

I’ll start it off..

Me: Good morning Mr. Howard how are you today?

I’m Fine HR, we need to talk. (Yeah even then they called me HR)

Ok, I’m freed up right now. What’s going on?

HR we here have come to appreciate the jokes and your schananagins and most are amazing, but…

Wait is this about the new signage I put in the lady’s room ?

No, I didnt even know there was a new sign in the lady’s room.

OK, Is this about having the floor guys put a couple extra coats of wax on the floor, cause I paid the difference out-of-pocket..

Nope, didnt really notice that either, It’s about…

Ok, wait let me guess..  it was the way I wrote on the tp in the stalls to remember to wash your hands before returning to work, because that one I have to say isnt bad just a friendly reminder.. however the one that said smile for the camera probably wasnt to smart I’ll admit.

It had nothing to do with any of that, But I do appreciate you bringing these things to my attention… now let me finish.

Ok I’m listening go ahead.

We where going to give you the JESTER award this weekend and let you give a small speech on the importance of a fun-loving and joyful working enviroment, BUT we wont be able to.

Why not that sounds great, I would love to why can’t we?

Because after this conversation and bringing these things to my attention, you might be looking for a new job.

Are you sure? because there is some thing you should know.

Whats that?

Yesterday the big bosses where here too, and well they thought is was brilliant and keeps people on their toes.

So what does that mean??

Hi how are you, I need to speak to you about your performance review coming up.  I’m YOUR new boss.

So there you have it, When you make someone of authority laugh, you just might stand a chance in the up tight world.

Good by, good luck, and goodnight.

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June 11, 2012 - Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , ,

10 Comments »

  1. Seriously funny and disturbing at the same time!

    Comment by GingerSnaap | June 11, 2012 | Reply

  2. The thought of you running a company worries me 😉

    Comment by Megan Stephenson | June 12, 2012 | Reply

  3. we are getting graded???!!!!! aaaww crap gotta up my game-.and you in authority??? oh Jeez!

    Comment by undermined authority | June 12, 2012 | Reply

    • Are you saying you can’t or won’t follow directions?
      And yes there is grading, but I have a feeling you’ll be fine as long as there grading on a curve. Or bring an apple to the teacher.

      Comment by hrnightmare | June 12, 2012 | Reply

  4. A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

    ‘Impossible!’ says the doctor. ‘Show me.’

    The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

    The doctor said, ‘You’re not really a redhead, are you?

    ‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m actually a blonde.’

    ‘I thought so,’ the doctor said, ‘Your finger is broken.’

    Comment by Sightsnbytes | June 13, 2012 | Reply

    • Friggin AWSOME, I love blonde jokes, cause I used to be one. Then I got smarter and my hair changed color.

      Comment by hrnightmare | June 13, 2012 | Reply

      • I gotta be careful with blonde jokes, my lady is a blonde…dangerous waters here!

        Comment by Sightsnbytes | June 13, 2012 | Reply

        • I get that, my kids blonde, HE is Italian and Irish, so I too am limited to the jokes.
          But wait I still tell those jokes, THAT explains the bump on my head and why I can’t remember some days.

          Comment by hrnightmare | June 13, 2012 | Reply


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