Words you cant unsay

H. R. NIGHTMARE

HR conversation I have had.

Lets take a little trip down memory lane shall we..

This is a flash back to a conversation I have had with the director of Human resources at a former place of employment.

I’ll start it off..

Me: Good morning Mr. Howard how are you today?

I’m Fine HR, we need to talk. (Yeah even then they called me HR)

Ok, I’m freed up right now. What’s going on?

HR we here have come to appreciate the jokes and your schananagins and most are amazing, but…

Wait is this about the new signage I put in the lady’s room ?

No, I didnt even know there was a new sign in the lady’s room.

OK, Is this about having the floor guys put a couple extra coats of wax on the floor, cause I paid the difference out-of-pocket..

Nope, didnt really notice that either, It’s about…

Ok, wait let me guess..  it was the way I wrote on the tp in the stalls to remember to wash your hands before returning to work, because that one I have to say isnt bad just a friendly reminder.. however the one that said smile for the camera probably wasnt to smart I’ll admit.

It had nothing to do with any of that, But I do appreciate you bringing these things to my attention… now let me finish.

Ok I’m listening go ahead.

We where going to give you the JESTER award this weekend and let you give a small speech on the importance of a fun-loving and joyful working enviroment, BUT we wont be able to.

Why not that sounds great, I would love to why can’t we?

Because after this conversation and bringing these things to my attention, you might be looking for a new job.

Are you sure? because there is some thing you should know.

Whats that?

Yesterday the big bosses where here too, and well they thought is was brilliant and keeps people on their toes.

So what does that mean??

Hi how are you, I need to speak to you about your performance review coming up.  I’m YOUR new boss.

So there you have it, When you make someone of authority laugh, you just might stand a chance in the up tight world.

Good by, good luck, and goodnight.

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June 11, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Just one of those days

Ever wake up in the mornin and think

 ‘ It’s just going to be on of those days’

You begin by looking in the mirror and saying

‘ You should have just stayed in bed’

You go to your favored coffee shop and order you usual  and receive some type of off base concoction of crap

when you ask what this crap is that you just got you get

“This is better just give it a chance.”

You get stuck in traffic after leaving the house 15 minuets late to start off with.

You walk into work and realize that there was a conference call you were set to be on 40 minuets ago so your late.

You look at your desk and figure out that there seems to be a weeks worth of work on it and you where only gone for 2 days, and none of it has any us full information pertaining to the documents you’re looking at.

Come lunchtime your break is a welcomed distraction to all the things that have been turned upside down in your day, only to receive a call from a coworker in regards to the conference call beginning that you missed so the 2 of you spend your entire break trying to find the info required for the close of the day.

After your break you return to what appears to be 15 messages from clients asking the status of their ordered parts to which you have no answers and then need to play catchup to find out and returned all the calls with the info, you muddle through the rest of your day and finally at the end of it all its time to go home. Your almost skipping all the way to your car with the biggest smile ever chanting tomorrow will be better, only to hop in your car and find out that you left the headlights on all day and now your battery is dead, you turn around just in time to see the last person your work with leaving the parking lot so you can’t even get a jump-start. When you try to call and see if they can swing by and give you a jump-start your phone is dead because the battery doesn’t hold a charge anymore and you have no way to charge it up.

A glimmer of hope a co-worker returns to pick up some papers he forgot, good fortune, all the way untill you figure out neither one of you have jumper cable because you loaned them to a buddy last week.

finally your buddy was able to call another friend and get a jump.

You race home looking forward to sitting in your favorite chair and crack open a beer, put your feet up and count the hours untill your day is finally done. When you get home your last beer is gone, your cat got sick in your chair and threw up and there seems to be no food remaining in the house, and the satellite is out because the wind took out your dish.

You say screw it and walk into the bedroom just to plop down in bed and finish out the day a little early. and try again tomorrow.

well that wasnt my day, my day was pretty good.

till next time..

keep smiling ( it makes people think your up to something, even if you’re not )

Oh crap this whole post and no pics??

WTF

here you go my friends.

HAHAHA you thought I wasnt going to find a way to sneak this in here didnt you.

SURPRISE GOT YA..

Keep the laugh track running..

April 17, 2012 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Reflection and one’s self

There comes a time when you have to sit back for a moment and reflect. Reflection is a good teacher. It shows us what we have done wrong, the things we have done right and it shows us how to improve. But there is one reflection that takes the cake.
This is what you do. Sneak in to the bathroom at work, hang a piece of reflective window tint about a foot inside the door way so the reflective side is facing the door. Next close the door (leave it cracked so the next person knows its empty).
Now wait.
While you’re waiting, think about all the good times you’ve had over the years. Then think about all the things you could have dodifferently. Improve yourself and your out look on….   wait…there goes Greg. The fun is about to start!
Now wait for it…wait for it…the sound of the opening door, the girlish scream and then BOOM there it is! Greg just got slammed in the face with his own reflection!
Image Detail
When you start breathing again, explain to Greg that that’s the sight you and your coworkers have to deal with every day. So apparently not ALL reflection is good. BUT someones else’s reflection can be funny as hell.
If you have a funny story to tell, go do stand up. If you have a story you’d like to share in written form, blog it here. And remember, if it’s funny I say do it.

December 7, 2011 Posted by | practical jokes | , , , , | 6 Comments