Fair is Fair in a Nightmare (haha moment for the girls)

Seeing as I am secure with myself I have no problem doing a post like this.

Ladies; this is for you.

I completed my last post with a fun little sign:

Top 10 reasons Handguns are better than women.

Well fair is fair so here you go girls.

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There you have it people.

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’til next time.

NEXT!!

Welcome my new year, Kiss my ass 2011.

The future is a opertunity, the past is an education.

I plan to take the new year with a smile, I will not cry about the past.

I will have a new view on the 2012

I will drink for fun not to forget the past.

I will LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE.

I will LIVE through-out the year.

I will LAUGH at whats funny.

I will LOVE as much as I can.

and

I will talk to you later.

12/26 the day after

Ok, so way to go day after Christmas; the cleaning, the picking up, the hangover.

Way to go 12/26. Back to work I go, listening to all the drama, the “I didn’t get what I wanted!” sniffles and bitching. “My mom and dad didn’t get the right color I-pad.” This coming from a 27 year-old man. Suck it up you little bitch before I slap you into puberty. Oh my god you’re frigging 27 years old, you can only work part-time because you’re too wrapped up in your own little world to realize that your little sports car import tuner isn’t as bad ass as you think. Just because your exhaust sounds like a pissed off swarm of bees and your “system” can blast you out of your seat. I don’t fucking care that your mommy got you the wrong fucking color ipad God damit. And if I yell at you because you’re complaining that you have to work for 15 fucking hours a week I WLL HAVE TO HIT YOU! Your parents should have tossed you out on your ass long ago, so do not get testy with me you little shit. I will not be picking up after you, I will not be wiping your ass, and I will not be giving a shit about you in the up-coming…well, forever. So please, for the love of God, if you’re over the age of 23 and complaining that the gift you got from your parents was the wrong color or anything trivial like that, remember you’re fucking lucky you have parents that get you anything at all SO BE GRATEFUL and say thank you and for Gods sake SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Faster then the speed of though

This is post asking, “Are you sure?” to everyone that has anything to say to you.

This is how it should work: ( Boss ) “Did you get those reports done yet?”

REPLY: “Are you sure you want THOSE reports?”

“Yes I want them and I want them now.”

“Are you sure you want them now?”

You get the point. This sounds all well and good. However, be aware of who you ask and when you ask. That is how it should have gone in my mind. This is the actual conversation that occurred.

BRUCE: “Did you get those reports done yet?”

ME: “Are you sure you want THOSE reports?”

BRUCE: “Yes I want the friggin reports! Why the hell would I have asked for them if I didn’t want them? What are you? A friggin’ idiot? What the hell is wrong with you? When I tell you I want something I want it done 10 minutes before I ask! Get over there, finish the prints and bring them to me NOW! I do not ever want to have this conversation again! Understood!?!”

OK I couldn’t resist at this point.

ME: “Are you sure you don’t want to have this conversation again?”

Que slamming door and BOOM.

And so yet again there is another installment of MOUTH MOVES FASTER THAN BRAIN. There will probably be a follow up to this called “I’m writing you from the line at the unemployment office.” Stay tuned.

see ya’ll,

HR.