Do NOT read this post

What a way to come back right..

okay okay, so yes I’ve been out of touch for a little while doing this and that, blash blah blah…

But I just couldn’t stay away forever.
I mean really, WHAT whould your life be without me??

I know most of you where out there saying to yourself whenever something funny happened.. “Oh where is HR for this”

like the time you went half the day watching a guy walk around with a dried booger on his tie, and each time he looked at you, you gaged.
Yes you gave him a complex and now he sits in his moms basement typing away on his computer all day long visiting bl… you know what we are just going to move on to more funny.

Alright so its spring time, most places anyway, and the weather is warming up, and the birds are coming back and
I’M STUCK IN A GOD DAMN OFFICE ALL FRIGGIN DAY WITH ONE SMALL ASS WINDOW THAT TED (THAST SON-OF-A-BITCH) GETS TO LOOK OUT AND NOT ME!!!!
But I’m ok with that.

Really,?? did you all think that I was the kind of guy that would sit inside on a warm and sunny day??
I’M FROM NEW ENGLAND MOTHER-FUCKERS!!! We only get, like 3 maybe 5 sunny days a year. I’m getting my rock hard ass outside.

(okay so maybe not so much rock hard as pliable, but I blame the fast food, chips ((the fri kind, hi Megan)), energy drinks, hot dogs, and the lack of exercise
booze, and candy, for the current condition of my ass.)

Sorry. What was I talking about?? oh who cares.

NEXT FUNNY PICTURE..

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Really?? even SHE don’t give a shit about your level.

NNEEXXTT !!!!

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Oh HR.. You sneaky basted you got me with that one.. says EVERYONE
hahahaha

just trying to keep you on your toes..
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Okay that’s the last time I try to gross you out…

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HAHAHA..!!! I cant believe you fell for it again… SUCKERS!!!
Alright alright I’m done… for now.
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Go home already…. unless you got booze, then come on in and have a seat.
No really go away.
No don’t really come in , get out.
Leave this place.
Remove yourself from here before I get pissed.
LAST WARNING!!!

okay that’s it now you’ve angered me.
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I’m getting MY gun.
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Have a what ever kind of day you want to have.. DO IT!!!

If your offended by what your about to see, please call 1-800- get your head out of your ass it’s meant to be funny dill-hole

As most know, and I have stated WAY more than once I do not write well so I hide behind pictures and poke fun at, well everybody.

So to bring a smile to a few faces out there I look around the internet quite often and most of the day from my phone, Every so often I take a break from the normal sites where they know me on a first name basis and look at things OTHER then porn. Because lets face it, I’m still a guy. So I find these little haha moments in hopes that some one, some where will get a chuckle from them. So here we go kiddies hold on to your hair piece, Its gonna be a bumpy ride…,

TONIGHT THEME IS

THE MILITARY

Thats right the armed forces from all over..

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AND LAST BUT BY NO MEANS LEAST…

A MOMENT OF

SERENITY

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If I have caused ant undue issues in this post, well I really don’t care cause

I AIN’T HERE TO HELP.

good night, god bless and all that.

no really get out, leave, vamoosed, remove yourself from my air space, WHY are you still here? Do you understand you being here now at this moment in time is causing a paradox that will never be corrected… move people, I can not stress enough that at this exact moment in time in a parallel universe you are standing to close to that annoying car alarm, which in there universe is considered rock-n-roll and they do it to dance, but that’s not the point. Look I have been pretty nice up to this point but am starting to get angered. FINE, FINE your still here reading this at least do me the favor of taking a look at this if you insist on staying..

DO NOT CLICK ON THIS

you just had to be that guy??

Up side to a bad day :)

Some people say ” there’s always a silver lining “

Some people say “look on the bright side “

I have even heard it said ” the glass is half full “

I thought to myself ‘ self these people are right. You just need to look around a little and find something good that you can look forward to.’

So I did and what I found was I will never need this …

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Oh yeah and I almost forgot

Hey Karma,

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Now wether your a mile or 2000 miles, across the street or across the pond. Keep smiling because if you dont..

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By the way I just got a new web cam. This thing is great too. 

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So as you can see, its not just, theres a silver lining, or the glass is half full or even that there is a brighter side to look at, at all.

Its the ability to make someone smile.

oh no seems that i’m

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ok i’m over it, so where was I ???

So its ok to have srong feelings for people and things, there was a time awhile back I asked for imput from everone on the … well you remember,

anywho I figured there are certin things its ok to openly admit… like me because…

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Ok kids thats enough for tonight sweet dreams to you all

NOW

Listen up kids, It’s funny time with HR

Each and every one of us need to laugh just to release the tension we accumulate each and every day.

This is why I bring these little moments of joy to the world,

some I find on the net in picture from (ok most) and some are the ongoing jokes I play or have played on co-workers and friends.

If just one person out there is able to chuckle at just one little, insignificant thing I post here then my day is almost fulfilled (there is still the food and napping thing to consider) so with out further a due I give you todays little burst of HAHA

First up would be a very telling insight to the MALE MIND……..(don’t worry, it’s a short story)

So there you have it folks, better than a decoder ring right…

next there is a small piece that was left out of this……(Probably the most important to a NEW relationship)

 

 

this one is for the “Players out there” who really don’t have a clue…

And now for the most blatant of all the questions to be released from the MALE MIND, through his mouth and streight to the ER room I bring you the #1 most though about question we could and would ask (mainly when drunk)

there you have it a glimpse into the MALE MIND as seen by HR Nightmare….

see ya

WAKE UP !!! It’s another haha moment

Q: Who do we all know like this?

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A:  Sparklebumps.

HR conversation I have had.

Lets take a little trip down memory lane shall we..

This is a flash back to a conversation I have had with the director of Human resources at a former place of employment.

I’ll start it off..

Me: Good morning Mr. Howard how are you today?

I’m Fine HR, we need to talk. (Yeah even then they called me HR)

Ok, I’m freed up right now. What’s going on?

HR we here have come to appreciate the jokes and your schananagins and most are amazing, but…

Wait is this about the new signage I put in the lady’s room ?

No, I didnt even know there was a new sign in the lady’s room.

OK, Is this about having the floor guys put a couple extra coats of wax on the floor, cause I paid the difference out-of-pocket..

Nope, didnt really notice that either, It’s about…

Ok, wait let me guess..  it was the way I wrote on the tp in the stalls to remember to wash your hands before returning to work, because that one I have to say isnt bad just a friendly reminder.. however the one that said smile for the camera probably wasnt to smart I’ll admit.

It had nothing to do with any of that, But I do appreciate you bringing these things to my attention… now let me finish.

Ok I’m listening go ahead.

We where going to give you the JESTER award this weekend and let you give a small speech on the importance of a fun-loving and joyful working enviroment, BUT we wont be able to.

Why not that sounds great, I would love to why can’t we?

Because after this conversation and bringing these things to my attention, you might be looking for a new job.

Are you sure? because there is some thing you should know.

Whats that?

Yesterday the big bosses where here too, and well they thought is was brilliant and keeps people on their toes.

So what does that mean??

Hi how are you, I need to speak to you about your performance review coming up.  I’m YOUR new boss.

So there you have it, When you make someone of authority laugh, you just might stand a chance in the up tight world.

Good by, good luck, and goodnight.

Quicky # (whatever)

It’s that time again to leave the crap of the world behind for a moment and become a laughing, drooling idiot like me.

Today I only have 2 funny pictures for you to lift your spirits and bring a chuckle to you funny bone (or hit it with a stick). Here you go folks.

 

That’s just funny right there, who the hell does that monkey think she is?

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and this one is a reminder that size doesn’t matter as much as a strong mindset set.

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and as always thanks for stopping by. If im not here when you get here, then I’m at the office compiling all the data I received for Looch. You can leave a message at the front desk or come back again later.

30 SEC HAHA #1

* We are all screwed*

*Get it?*

I would like to take a second and remind people we still have brave solders over there.

It is up to us to thank them and remind them to not lose their sence of humor.

On a side note I would like to say

THANK YOU ALL WHO HAVE,  ARE,  OR WILL SERVE IN THE ARMED FORCES.

Now this is why I can’t be there.

see ya’ll soon

Not much time Quick read this.,

Look closely here at this thing you’re looking at.

See it?

Good now really fast try to figure it all out.

Done yet?

Good.

Heres your pretty picture for the day to try to remove the thought of me in your head.

There see I try to do something nice and you twist it all around to make me look like the perv.

Just kidding. I am, so any who, Whats going on out there in the real world? Since I’m not getting out of here any time soon I would really like to know.  OOp to late the nice men with the really warm jackets that make me give myself a hug are here, They bring me to listen to music through these little tiny metal stickers they put on the side of my head. I hope they got a new record thou, the same buzzing band has been playing for my last 4 visits, although the music HAS gotten louder the last 2 times. Anyway… Gotta go. see you in your mind.

Welcome back or Pleased to meet you.

Welcome to, well here. As many of you know I enjoy having fun and tell stories about little things that happen

you know what, im a little cramped for time today so just run the pic sequence.

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One persons dumb move..

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Can impact everyone.

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and now I leave you with this.

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LEARN TO LAUGH. SCREW WITH SOMEONE TODAY.

Because

(thats me in the red shirt)

If some one think’s you joke aint funny,

take the advise of a wise turtle friend of mine. *

Just remember that the really funny jokes in life need time to set up.

as for the rest of this post

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keep the laugh track going.

(even if your the only one who can hear it)