Do NOT read this post

What a way to come back right..

okay okay, so yes I’ve been out of touch for a little while doing this and that, blash blah blah…

But I just couldn’t stay away forever.
I mean really, WHAT whould your life be without me??

I know most of you where out there saying to yourself whenever something funny happened.. “Oh where is HR for this”

like the time you went half the day watching a guy walk around with a dried booger on his tie, and each time he looked at you, you gaged.
Yes you gave him a complex and now he sits in his moms basement typing away on his computer all day long visiting bl… you know what we are just going to move on to more funny.

Alright so its spring time, most places anyway, and the weather is warming up, and the birds are coming back and
I’M STUCK IN A GOD DAMN OFFICE ALL FRIGGIN DAY WITH ONE SMALL ASS WINDOW THAT TED (THAST SON-OF-A-BITCH) GETS TO LOOK OUT AND NOT ME!!!!
But I’m ok with that.

Really,?? did you all think that I was the kind of guy that would sit inside on a warm and sunny day??
I’M FROM NEW ENGLAND MOTHER-FUCKERS!!! We only get, like 3 maybe 5 sunny days a year. I’m getting my rock hard ass outside.

(okay so maybe not so much rock hard as pliable, but I blame the fast food, chips ((the fri kind, hi Megan)), energy drinks, hot dogs, and the lack of exercise
booze, and candy, for the current condition of my ass.)

Sorry. What was I talking about?? oh who cares.

NEXT FUNNY PICTURE..

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Really?? even SHE don’t give a shit about your level.

NNEEXXTT !!!!

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Oh HR.. You sneaky basted you got me with that one.. says EVERYONE
hahahaha

just trying to keep you on your toes..
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Okay that’s the last time I try to gross you out…

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HAHAHA..!!! I cant believe you fell for it again… SUCKERS!!!
Alright alright I’m done… for now.
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Go home already…. unless you got booze, then come on in and have a seat.
No really go away.
No don’t really come in , get out.
Leave this place.
Remove yourself from here before I get pissed.
LAST WARNING!!!

okay that’s it now you’ve angered me.
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I’m getting MY gun.
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Have a what ever kind of day you want to have.. DO IT!!!

Haha moment or oops wrong story

As I sit here in my rustic log cabin in the woods listening to the sound of only snaps and crackles being omitted from my fire place, and the sound of the clicking of my keyboard wondering what to put on the blank screen of mine.
I allow my mind to be released and wonder with the flickering fire light of the room. Amazed that it seemed to find a place long lost of my childhood and the things I wished to be when I reached adulthood.
Needless to say a smile came across my face as I indulged in the kid dreams of my little world and then it dawned on me…
If I don’t wake up and get my ass out of bed ill be late for work… Again.

Yea I don’t have a log cabin in the woods, the only fire I play with I must make fly and create art and unfortunately my childhood dreams have not really come to pass.

Yep this is my life but it’s nice to remember the good things from time to time…Like my kids..

My kids are kind, loving and proud.

Kind… Willing to do whatever needs to be done to help others that may not be ready to help themselves.

Loving… Able to see past flaws and enjoy a person regardless of where they come from or where they are.

Proud… Proud to be called a friend, proud of the things the have accomplished and will accomplish. Proud to be a leader rather then a follower. Proud to be themselves regardless of what the current “fad” is.

So in looking at these terrific people that call me dad maybe, just maybe I have completed my childhood dream after all.

I wanted to raise kids that where better people then I was.

Mission accomplished.

Dreams for filled.

Now I need new dreams.

New dreams filled with heart, compaction, faith and caring.

And maybe with a little luck…A cape.

Because let’s face it, every dreamer dreams of having a cape.

But all my dreams are unknown.

now onto the funny…
A little while ago it was mentioned to me that “fast food” joints or ” flipin burgers” was the down fall of the current economy.. well I have news for you…

seeing as fast food has been around a long, long time as seen here..

Now many will think that this is completely impossible but its true.
Even if today it seems to be a little more like the evil twin brother asking…

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I have to admit,
it is still way, way better then..

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now seeing as the down fall was not created by joints like this..
We still need to have a little understanding.
See if your not carful you may run into this situation and not know what to do,
like..

and there is no unseeing that let me tell you..

Now still more to come.

Ever wonder what would happen if you crossed 2 time lines like…. THIS…

yea that’s right I did that, and you looked..

ok so at this point I’m supposed to say something funny and cleaver and blah blah blah ..
I’m just going to throw some funny up here. laugh it up chuckles..

Hi Tom.. hahaha..

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY !! WE BRING YOU BATTLE BUGS…. WE WILL SELL YOU THE WHOLE SEAT BUT YOULL ONLY NEED THE
EEEEDDDGGGEEEE !!!

OKAY one more and then get out you free loaders…

I bring to you the perfect chuckle moment..

ready?

set..

just kidding go away.

good night my ladies and gents of the world and don’t forget to tip your waitress..

Up side to a bad day :)

Some people say ” there’s always a silver lining “

Some people say “look on the bright side “

I have even heard it said ” the glass is half full “

I thought to myself ‘ self these people are right. You just need to look around a little and find something good that you can look forward to.’

So I did and what I found was I will never need this …

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Oh yeah and I almost forgot

Hey Karma,

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Now wether your a mile or 2000 miles, across the street or across the pond. Keep smiling because if you dont..

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By the way I just got a new web cam. This thing is great too. 

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So as you can see, its not just, theres a silver lining, or the glass is half full or even that there is a brighter side to look at, at all.

Its the ability to make someone smile.

oh no seems that i’m

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ok i’m over it, so where was I ???

So its ok to have srong feelings for people and things, there was a time awhile back I asked for imput from everone on the … well you remember,

anywho I figured there are certin things its ok to openly admit… like me because…

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Ok kids thats enough for tonight sweet dreams to you all

NOW

Welcome back H.E. :)

Ok, so there has ben a presence missing out here in Blog-land.

That would be the notorious

H. E. Ellis

(hellis for short) or (pain in the ass)

I would like to be the first to welcome her back on this “top secret” road trip of hers to visit the home land of your first book entitled

Gods of Asphalt

As to inspire her second book she has entitled

(Title not yet completed) but we all just call it

Book II (2) that was for the non romans out there.

Her trip, from what I hear, was wonderful. She was able to stick to the outlined road map pretty well.

Here was the trip out to

Valentine Nebraska

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Now I know it seems a little askew from What one might do, But you have to realise a trip like this takes a lot of planning and time to visit the important things like.

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********Pictures to be inserted at a later time*********

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Now on the return trip the route that was taken was a little different from that of going out. See all the trips all over the east coast that she has takin, she never ended up see in the Great Lakes of these fine United States. there for she was able to catch a glimpse of not only Motor city, by the fine Great lakes as well. her return trip looked something like this.

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So again I would like to welcome H.E. back and I hope you will too.

Seeing as the pictures from the trip still need to be downloaded from the camera, and some slight editing to be done. Those will have to be a post for another day. ( She really is not a good picture taker)

Untill next time, Watch where you go (or dont) cause you might just find your there already.

HR conversation I have had.

Lets take a little trip down memory lane shall we..

This is a flash back to a conversation I have had with the director of Human resources at a former place of employment.

I’ll start it off..

Me: Good morning Mr. Howard how are you today?

I’m Fine HR, we need to talk. (Yeah even then they called me HR)

Ok, I’m freed up right now. What’s going on?

HR we here have come to appreciate the jokes and your schananagins and most are amazing, but…

Wait is this about the new signage I put in the lady’s room ?

No, I didnt even know there was a new sign in the lady’s room.

OK, Is this about having the floor guys put a couple extra coats of wax on the floor, cause I paid the difference out-of-pocket..

Nope, didnt really notice that either, It’s about…

Ok, wait let me guess..  it was the way I wrote on the tp in the stalls to remember to wash your hands before returning to work, because that one I have to say isnt bad just a friendly reminder.. however the one that said smile for the camera probably wasnt to smart I’ll admit.

It had nothing to do with any of that, But I do appreciate you bringing these things to my attention… now let me finish.

Ok I’m listening go ahead.

We where going to give you the JESTER award this weekend and let you give a small speech on the importance of a fun-loving and joyful working enviroment, BUT we wont be able to.

Why not that sounds great, I would love to why can’t we?

Because after this conversation and bringing these things to my attention, you might be looking for a new job.

Are you sure? because there is some thing you should know.

Whats that?

Yesterday the big bosses where here too, and well they thought is was brilliant and keeps people on their toes.

So what does that mean??

Hi how are you, I need to speak to you about your performance review coming up.  I’m YOUR new boss.

So there you have it, When you make someone of authority laugh, you just might stand a chance in the up tight world.

Good by, good luck, and goodnight.

Happy Presidents day

Ms. Ellis requested a photographer for the post she published this morning.

I showed up late for the photo shoot.

This is what I got.

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I need a new watch.

till next time

My meeting today.

THIS was my day.

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A list of what my meeting felt like today.

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This is a grea IDEA, Lets get that poster.

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Yep we just keep getting better.

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YOU could be the one.

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Let’s have a rocking new fiscal year with new idea’s

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So let us all work together because

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Now go home and enjoy the rest of your day,

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and if your really lucky, youll get a visit from this guy,

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good night every one.

Reflection and one’s self

There comes a time when you have to sit back for a moment and reflect. Reflection is a good teacher. It shows us what we have done wrong, the things we have done right and it shows us how to improve. But there is one reflection that takes the cake.

This is what you do. Sneak in to the bathroom at work, hang a piece of reflective window tint about a foot inside the door way so the reflective side is facing the door. Next close the door (leave it cracked so the next person knows its empty).

Now wait.

While you’re waiting, think about all the good times you’ve had over the years. Then think about all the things you could have dodifferently. Improve yourself and your out look on….   wait…there goes Greg. The fun is about to start!

Now wait for it…wait for it…the sound of the opening door, the girlish scream and then BOOM there it is! Greg just got slammed in the face with his own reflection!

When you start breathing again, explain to Greg that that’s the sight you and your coworkers have to deal with every day. So apparently not ALL reflection is good. BUT someones else’s reflection can be funny as hell.

If you have a funny story to tell, go do stand up. If you have a story you’d like to share in written form, blog it here. And remember, if it’s funny I say do it.