Words you cant unsay

H. R. NIGHTMARE

Almost worked.

Here we go again, 12/27 the returns
!!
So yeah, as some of you know I have a job working in retail.
let as recap the past week and a half,
Step 1, figure out what that special person wants. Category of the item desired
Step 2, Find out the gift for said person , What is it exactly they would love to have.
Step 3, Locate that perfect gift for that special person. Where can it be bought and is there enough
Step 4, Go to purchase the greatest gift ever. After fighting your way to the table and suffering a couple of bruises.
Step 5, Wrap that gift perfectly with a bow. Said persons favorite color paper and Santa splattered on it
Step 5, Tease them that they will never guess what it is. Don’t let them know that they picked it out.
Step 6, They open it a day after Christmas ( because you where with family ON Christmas)
That’s when the pain starts.
That special someone forces a smile and a over exaggerated
“It’s exactly what I wanted. “
Step 7, Find the receipt because her sister got her the same god dam present you did, and gave it to her the day BEFORE Christmas
Step 8, Hunt down the sist..  scratch that. Step 8a,Ttell her that’s fine and drive her to the store to return said gift and pick out something else.
Strep 9, Wait in line for over an hour with every other Man who thought of the same god dam thing you did,
” I give her this gift she will be so grateful I might just get lucky”.
Step 10, She gets what she wants, you get I’m sorry Hun but I promised my parents we would drive up and see them tonight
( which by the way is an hour drive one way )
Step 11, get home, have a shot, go to bed and hope for a better tomorrow.
Good night and good luck people.
By the way, This happend to Looch NOT HR.
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December 28, 2011 - Posted by | christmas, real world | , , , , ,

16 Comments »

  1. Poor Loochy. You tortured him with this, didn’t you?

    Comment by H.E. ELLIS | December 28, 2011 | Reply

    • Not to much. Just told him that it was not the
      Best laid plan he ever had.

      Comment by hrnightmare | December 28, 2011 | Reply

      • As opposed to his plans to spit water into fans or to soak auto parts in motor oil? Or was that you?

        Comment by H.E. ELLIS | December 28, 2011 | Reply

  2. I dont plan, I just turn jokes in on themselves.
    The water thing, HE pointed the fan at himself, how could I resist spraying water at it?

    Comment by hrnightmare | December 28, 2011 | Reply

    • That’s right. Wait…aren’t YOU the boss?

      Comment by H.E. ELLIS | December 28, 2011 | Reply

      • Yes, but I lead by do as I say not as i do , cause the next victim might be you. So far seems to be working. I have to say that was better then the time I slipped a note in the TP roll in the ladies room that said. ” hey, what ya doin?” That one wasn’t found to be funney. But i thought it was.

        Comment by hrnightmare | December 28, 2011 | Reply

        • There is something very, very wrong with you, HR. Good thing you’re pretty.

          Comment by H.E. ELLIS | December 28, 2011 | Reply

  3. Yea, ive got a face for silent movies. Alls well until I talk right.?.

    Comment by hrnightmare | December 28, 2011 | Reply

    • I don’t know…the ass helps make up for the babble.

      Comment by H.E. ELLIS | December 28, 2011 | Reply

  4. Excellent timeline of events. Fortunately, in our house,I am not restricted to just buying presents to induce sex.
    I use EVERYTHING to induce sex.
    hey, throw 1000 pitches, one of em has to be a strike, right?

    Comment by El Guapo | December 28, 2011 | Reply

    • As long as all the pitches are in the same direction, I agree.

      Comment by hrnightmare | December 29, 2011 | Reply

  5. Awww poor Looch, I personally would have just hidden the one from my sister and excepted the one from him, the effort was there!

    Comment by meganstephenson | December 29, 2011 | Reply

    • I agree, but he’s a big softy anyway. Besides I think this is the first year he really tried. That’s the sad part.

      Comment by hrnightmare | December 29, 2011 | Reply

      • My boyfriend try’s less every year but this year, he is taking me on holiday, at least he knows nobody else will be taking me 😉 I still feel bad for looch!

        Comment by meganstephenson | December 29, 2011 | Reply


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