Words you cant unsay

H. R. NIGHTMARE

Top Secret (sshhhhh)

Alright this one is for the guy’s out there.

First off I want to thank all the men out there who laid there lives on the line and the billions of dollars spent in the pursuit of this document. There where  research facility’s located in multiple locations around the world. They where deep inside the malls. These brave men risked everything to bring us the following information.

Please note this is eyes only information and should not be printed or even spoken about after reading.

This knowledge should be used for the betterment of men everywhere, if we have a clue, then we have a chance.

Please note the finer print on the bottom of the document.

I now bring you the mens key to survival…

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I now raise a glass to the pursuit of happiness.

Please note that shoes is NOT the largest part.

 This means that untill we men figure out how to make the largest part of the female brain become dormant, shiny objects and shoes are our only hope.

Good luck guys.

 

 

 

 

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May 27, 2012 - Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , ,

19 Comments »

  1. If you replace shoes with contact sport and impulse shopping with fast cars … That is my Brian Ahaha 😉

    Comment by Megan Stephenson | May 27, 2012 | Reply

    • Yeah, your the one who created the curve in the results. Thanks.

      Comment by hrnightmare | May 27, 2012 | Reply

  2. This explains so much….

    Comment by H.E. ELLIS | May 27, 2012 | Reply

    • I know right, but in a good way.
      Oh if I knew then what I know now.
      I would have probably forgotten it by now.

      Comment by hrnightmare | May 27, 2012 | Reply

      • I stand by my answer.

        Comment by H.E. ELLIS | May 27, 2012 | Reply

        • And it’s taller then you.

          Comment by hrnightmare | May 27, 2012 | Reply

          • Fucker.

            Comment by H.E. ELLIS | May 27, 2012 | Reply

            • stand up when you talk to me lik…. oh

              Comment by hrnightmare | May 27, 2012 | Reply

              • No, thanks. I think I’ll stay here at “junk punch” height.

                Comment by H.E. ELLIS | May 27, 2012 | Reply

                • you miss spelled ‘suck’ btw.

                  Comment by hrnightmare | May 27, 2012 | Reply

                  • I bet Looch knows how to spell it, doesn’t he?

                    Comment by H.E. ELLIS | May 27, 2012 | Reply

                    • yep,
                      H
                      O
                      O
                      V
                      E
                      R
                      🙂

                      Comment by hrnightmare | May 27, 2012

                    • Now THAT explains a lot.

                      Comment by H.E. ELLIS | May 27, 2012

  3. that is the funniest thing I seen all day. Of course I just crawled out of bed and haven’t seen anything yet, but still

    Comment by Sightsnbytes | May 28, 2012 | Reply

    • Well thank you I think. Stop back by at the end of the day and see if it still holds true.
      By the way, It’s nice to know that I was able to set the bar so low, that it makes the rest of the day look good.

      Comment by hrnightmare | May 28, 2012 | Reply

      • End of the work day and I still find it funny. My boss (female) however, didn’t find it as funny as I did. She must not have read the whole thing

        Comment by Sightsnbytes | May 28, 2012 | Reply

        • That’s ok, Get her some shoes that aught to make her happy, and probably get you a promotion to boot.

          Comment by hrnightmare | May 28, 2012 | Reply

  4. got a good one for you…
    A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.

    “Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, I’m only here to wash your hands and feet”.

    He struggles again to ask, “Nurse, are my testicles black?” Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look, and says “There is nothing wrong with them!”

    Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, “That was very nice but, are… my… test… results… back?”

    Comment by Sightsnbytes | May 29, 2012 | Reply

    • I have been awake for hours and still this is the funniest friggin thing I’ve heared all week.
      Thank you.

      Comment by hrnightmare | May 29, 2012 | Reply


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