Words you cant unsay

H. R. NIGHTMARE

Ms. Megan hey Ms. Megan.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!

Yepper, That’s right folks, it IS in fact the lovely Ms. Megan’s B-day today (or yesterday ) (or tomorrow )
You know what it doesn’t matter…

Raise you glasses and wish this fine, strong, amazing woman a VERY happy birthday and recognize that this world is a better place for those of us that know her.

I thought long and hard on this Birthday wish and seeing as drinks where the topic I could find no better one then a sweet, yet fun-loving one I bring to the table.
( I was a waiter once btw. )

I give you the

Sweet Ms. Megan

Now this is what you do…

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Ingredients:

For Tequila Daisy Cocktail:

2 ounces high quality Tequila Blanco

1 ounce triple sec

2 tablespoons lime juice

For Strawberry Fool:

6 ounces fresh strawberries, hulled and diced

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon granulated sugar

1/4 teaspoon fresh lemon zest

3/4 teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice

1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

To make cocktail: Combine the tequila, triple sec and lime juice in a cocktail shaker and strain into small tumbler until glass is about half to three-quarters full. Top with a generous dollop of strawberry fool and garnish with one strawberry top.

To make fool: Combine strawberries and 1/4 cup sugar in a small saucepan, stirring until berries are well coated. Using masher or the back of a large spoon smash strawberries to a pulp, leaving only a few small chunks remain.

Place saucepan over medium-high heat and let cook, stirring constantly until just before boiling point, about 6 minutes. Stir in lemon zest and bring mixture to a full boil for about 2 more minutes. Remove from heat.

Skim any film or foam off of top of mixture and discard. Transfer syrup to a heatproof container and cool to room temperature before chilling in refrigerator for 20 to 30 minutes.

In the meantime, whisk heavy cream in a large metal bowl until soft peaks form. Continuing to whisk, add remaining tablespoon of sugar to cream. Fold in vanilla extract and whisk for a few more minutes until stiff peaks form.

In a slow and steady stream pour cooled strawberry syrup into whipped cream, continuing to whisk until desired color and consistency is reached.

Serves:

1
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tequila-daisy-cocktail-recipe

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Now no screwing around… get to drinking..

and if I found out you haven't raised at least one toast to her today.. heaven help you because I sure wont. I WILL find you, because there is NO more deserving person on this earth.

Love you
From this guy across the pond.. named HR :)
keep smiling Megan, It makes the rest of us stronger.

April 15, 2013 Posted by | real world, Uncategorized | , , , , | 11 Comments

Do NOT read this post

demotivational-posters-southern-girls

What a way to come back right..

okay okay, so yes I’ve been out of touch for a little while doing this and that, blash blah blah…

But I just couldn’t stay away forever.
I mean really, WHAT whould your life be without me??

I know most of you where out there saying to yourself whenever something funny happened.. “Oh where is HR for this”

like the time you went half the day watching a guy walk around with a dried booger on his tie, and each time he looked at you, you gaged.
Yes you gave him a complex and now he sits in his moms basement typing away on his computer all day long visiting bl… you know what we are just going to move on to more funny.

Alright so its spring time, most places anyway, and the weather is warming up, and the birds are coming back and
I’M STUCK IN A GOD DAMN OFFICE ALL FRIGGIN DAY WITH ONE SMALL ASS WINDOW THAT TED (THAST SON-OF-A-BITCH) GETS TO LOOK OUT AND NOT ME!!!!
But I’m ok with that.

Really,?? did you all think that I was the kind of guy that would sit inside on a warm and sunny day??
I’M FROM NEW ENGLAND MOTHER-FUCKERS!!! We only get, like 3 maybe 5 sunny days a year. I’m getting my rock hard ass outside.

(okay so maybe not so much rock hard as pliable, but I blame the fast food, chips ((the fri kind, hi Megan)), energy drinks, hot dogs, and the lack of exercise
booze, and candy, for the current condition of my ass.)

Sorry. What was I talking about?? oh who cares.

NEXT FUNNY PICTURE..

funny_girls_demotivational_posters_22
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Really?? even SHE don’t give a shit about your level.

NNEEXXTT !!!!

20120605-170138.jpg

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Oh HR.. You sneaky basted you got me with that one.. says EVERYONE
hahahaha

just trying to keep you on your toes..
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Okay that’s the last time I try to gross you out…
s7hrjj0wrt
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HAHAHA..!!! I cant believe you fell for it again… SUCKERS!!!
Alright alright I’m done… for now.
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funny-peacock-stop-staring-not-sex-object-pics
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Go home already…. unless you got booze, then come on in and have a seat.
No really go away.
No don’t really come in , get out.
Leave this place.
Remove yourself from here before I get pissed.
LAST WARNING!!!

okay that’s it now you’ve angered me.
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I’m getting MY gun.
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demotivational-posters-funny-pictures-57
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Have a what ever kind of day you want to have.. DO IT!!!

April 9, 2013 Posted by | christmas, Quicky | , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Haha moment or oops wrong story

As I sit here in my rustic log cabin in the woods listening to the sound of only snaps and crackles being omitted from my fire place, and the sound of the clicking of my keyboard wondering what to put on the blank screen of mine.
I allow my mind to be released and wonder with the flickering fire light of the room. Amazed that it seemed to find a place long lost of my childhood and the things I wished to be when I reached adulthood.
Needless to say a smile came across my face as I indulged in the kid dreams of my little world and then it dawned on me…
If I don’t wake up and get my ass out of bed ill be late for work… Again.

Yea I don’t have a log cabin in the woods, the only fire I play with I must make fly and create art and unfortunately my childhood dreams have not really come to pass.

Yep this is my life but it’s nice to remember the good things from time to time…Like my kids..

My kids are kind, loving and proud.

Kind… Willing to do whatever needs to be done to help others that may not be ready to help themselves.

Loving… Able to see past flaws and enjoy a person regardless of where they come from or where they are.

Proud… Proud to be called a friend, proud of the things the have accomplished and will accomplish. Proud to be a leader rather then a follower. Proud to be themselves regardless of what the current “fad” is.

So in looking at these terrific people that call me dad maybe, just maybe I have completed my childhood dream after all.

I wanted to raise kids that where better people then I was.

Mission accomplished.

Dreams for filled.

Now I need new dreams.

New dreams filled with heart, compaction, faith and caring.

And maybe with a little luck…A cape.

Because let’s face it, every dreamer dreams of having a cape.

But all my dreams are unknown.

now onto the funny…
A little while ago it was mentioned to me that “fast food” joints or ” flipin burgers” was the down fall of the current economy.. well I have news for you…

seeing as fast food has been around a long, long time as seen here..

1191

Now many will think that this is completely impossible but its true.
Even if today it seems to be a little more like the evil twin brother asking…

mac</a

I have to admit,
it is still way, way better then..

thCA15XWUC>

now seeing as the down fall was not created by joints like this..
We still need to have a little understanding.
See if your not carful you may run into this situation and not know what to do,
like..

funny-cats-why-dont-you-knock

and there is no unseeing that let me tell you..

Now still more to come.

Ever wonder what would happen if you crossed 2 time lines like…. THIS…

hey_beetlejuice_doris_joker_funny_demotivational_poster_1231432214_Motivational_Posters_s640x456_23742-s640x456-183671

yea that’s right I did that, and you looked..

ok so at this point I’m supposed to say something funny and cleaver and blah blah blah ..
I’m just going to throw some funny up here. laugh it up chuckles..

funny-demotivational-posters-bacon-wrapped-media-4

Hi Tom.. hahaha..

beetlebattle

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY !! WE BRING YOU BATTLE BUGS…. WE WILL SELL YOU THE WHOLE SEAT BUT YOULL ONLY NEED THE
EEEEDDDGGGEEEE !!!

OKAY one more and then get out you free loaders…

I bring to you the perfect chuckle moment..

ready?

set..

just kidding go away.

good night my ladies and gents of the world and don’t forget to tip your waitress..

funny_cat_pictures_165

March 19, 2013 Posted by | Quicky, real world | , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

No nightmare here today, just a guy who likes a girl.

Have you ever been around someone
and just couldn’t think?
Have you ever been around someone
lips, soft as a rose’s pink?
Have you ever been around someone
heart as vast as the open sea?
Have you ever been around someone
together forever you wish to be?
Have you ever been around someone
into their eyes you gaze?
Have you ever been around someone
piercing the soul like the sun’s rays?
Have you ever been around someone
and chose to run and hide?
Have you ever been around someone
scared of what feelins are inside?

I have..

And I’m not scared anymore.

Thank you my sweet for being so wonderful. You may have been unknown but I found you.

February 14, 2013 Posted by | real world | , , , | 12 Comments

Vamps know how to party baby…

Look between the blood letting and the twilight “sparkling” crap people forget Vamp know how to party. Well I give you this. Not only a testament to having a good time but also Vamps have a heart.

Ps… My youngling daughter keeps singing this song.
If your a dad watch this with your teenage daughter… It really brings to light what we as good dads needs to see sometimes… Like when our young lady’s are 118 years of age.
Enjoy.

February 3, 2013 Posted by | Quicky, real world | 11 Comments

Look watch and laugh your ass off

Creativity comes from all around.
Go find yours.

February 2, 2013 Posted by | Quicky | , , | Leave a comment

Hey HE, Its your B-day

Ok so I was a little late with this. Hopwever I was able to find just the right gift for you..
This should help with all the new “stunts” and still protect you head, which we all know all those great ideas come from.
H E this is my gift to you.. Ride safe..

hbd

That right….. IT’S A NEW SKATEBOARD !!!
with a rockin new skull helmet.
Now once the boys finish your half-pipe you’ll be green light to go..

Happy B-day HE, and many, many more.

January 15, 2013 Posted by | real world | , , , , , | 4 Comments

Eduardo Hotspurto and Salma Hayek’s Pizza Gone Wrong

You think you know Edward Hotspur? Well sit back and let me tell you a tale. Now some of you may know that Eddie here used to be a Pizza Delivery Bitch. I bet you didn’t know that he had secret dreams of being a porn star too? (but fell short). That’s right, he’d lay in bed, dreaming of the real life day when someone opened the door for pizza but asked for his pepperoni instead, not knowing all he had on him was a cocktail wiener (tell me again whose idea it was to invite me to this thing?)

Anyway, one day Eddie got lucky and managed to score a delivery to none other than his dream girl, Salma Hayek. Even though she ordered a vegetarian pizza, little did she know what she really got was double meat. He was so excited he almost fell off his bicycle.

Twice.

You can imagine his surprise when she came to the door in nothing but a slinky, silk nightgown. In a near perfect Spanish accent he said, “Hello, my name is Eduardo. Did you order a pizza, extra meat?”

“No,” she said, wrapping her robe tight around her. “I wanted a vegetable.”

Smiling wide he said, “Well, I was the smartest in my class, but I’ll fake it for you.”

“I do not understand,” Salma said, backing away slowly. “Why do you say you bring me meat?”

Believing this to be a cue, Eduardo Hotspurto dropped the pizza and then his pants. Pointing to his junk he said, “All women love HOT sausage, and I’ve got one that SPURts and is guaranteed to satisfy…”

Salma burst out laughing, but was intrigued none the less. “Alright, Gringo, I will give you a go. Why don’t you step inside and I will let you toss my dough.”

With that, Eduardo Hotspurto shot a load in the air like a rocket, nailing her right in the eye. Eddie was dressed and on his bike before Salma even knew what hit her. As he peddled down the road the sound of his semi-erect pecker smacking against the tire reminded him of baseball cards in the spokes and he promptly:

CLICK THE PIZZA BELOW IF YOU WANT EDDIE TO EAT A POUND OF BACON WHILE CRYING EMO TEARS OF MAN PAIN OR…

PIZZA

CLICK THIS PIZZA IF YOU WANT HIM TO TURN GAY AND BEGIN COLLECTING RAINBOW PISSING UNICORN FIGURINES

PIZZA

AGAIN, WHOSE BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO INVITE ME TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS THING???

 

January 9, 2013 Posted by | practical jokes, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

All you writers are the same. :)

All you writers are the same.  :)

The ” Chair ” that all of you sit in. Yes you are all the same. Haha just joking. I respect you all. Seeing as now I too am published. Ya-HOO mofo. Read this NOW!!! Or not you choice, but later you’ll regret not doing it..

http://heellisgoa.com/2012/12/25/iconic-interviews-the-book/

And if that don’t quite float your boat… Well Piss-off,

No wait come back I’m sorry you know your the one for me, try this instead…

I’m in this one too.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0093QL5F6/ref=redir_mdp_mobile?qid=1346766306&ref_=tmm_kin_title_0&sr=1-2

Aaaaggggghhhh shit… I’m one of you…
When the hell.
You know what screw it, I’m good.
That was a close one. Luckily the JD kicked in or there would have been a mess here.
Ok check em out.
Kisses and a kick in the nuts. Love y’all.

December 28, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | 15 Comments

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0IwpRzWL_4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0IwpRzWL_4

I can’t even describe the level of über awesome this is. 

Check it out.

December 14, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

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